Category: Dating and Relationships
Okay, I have a friend (not a zoner) who was with this guy, and everything was going okay, they felt the same way about each other, or so she thought until out of the blue he said to her that he couldn't be with her cause she liked someone else. She was totally honest with him, and said that their was no-one else, and that he was the only one she was interested in. Now, the guy won't talk to her at all, and she can't figure out where he got his information from, or why he suddenly started saying things like that, and, why he didn't believe her. At this point I'd like to point out that I do have her permition to post this, cause even I am having trouble trying to help figure this out. I myself have gone through similar things, but this puzzles even me. So any sugestians are welcome. The main questian is this;
Did he just use this as an excuse to break up with her?
She doesn't kno this, but I herd that he started seeing someone else right after he told her that he didn't want to be with her, cause of her so called feelings for another person.
I notice how more and more these days, people say the craziest things to avoid blame. It sounds to me like he was the one with the other person in the wings. But, for whatever reason, one of the two of them didn't like the other unconditionally. So no need to figure it out. That guy lost out, and that girl had something sad and confusing done to her. I hope she finds a better guy.
Thom
yes this has happen to me, i was seeing this girl named lisa, and she broke up with me because she heard i liked someone else which at time i did not. after the break up her 1 friend jodi was there to comfort me and thought she was great till i found out that jodi is the one to tell lisa that i liked her.
people can be very wicked to get what they want.
Thom, she liked him unconditionally, and still does, but your right. he did miss out on someone who would have been their for him whenever he needed her, and would have been a devoted girlfriend to him. She still wants to be friends with him, but doesn't even kno if he wants to even be that.
Personally if I were her... I'd stay away from the friendship. It seems like you said liz, like an excuse to get out of the relationship. People like to paun off blame to other people or carry all the blame. There seems to be no happy medium. If he could say that though and not give her proof and then not even speak to her after word does that make him seem like he'd be any better of a friend than lover? Most people don't like to sacrifice friends for lovers because they are supposed to be more dependable and trust worthy. It doesn't seem like he possesses these qualities in a high quantity.
I don't even think that he deserves to be friends. This will just torment her. She would probably have somewhere in the back of her mind that something might happen. She deserves better than this .She did nothing wrong, and she needs to know this. If relationships happened because only one person wanted it, everybody would be in one, or two, or more. It's hard to find both parties interested, and interested in all of the same ways and amounts.
Some people can find the right one right away, sometimes it takes until they are in their middle years before it happens. There could be many failed relationships in between. No matter what the path, it's the result that matters.
Hugs to her.
Thom
okay first off, that guys got issues, as for that info, maybe her friends were trying to fuck with their relationship and succeed. that guy believes whatever people tell him, he should have asked his gf before assuming the info was true.
something similar happened a while ago. maybe she did like another guy, or I wasn't what she was looking for, or maybe she didn't like me at all and was using me, but... anyways, she had told me that she had alot of things to do whitch led her to not wanting a boyfriend. then I find out that she found another person. Then they started going out. and...yeah.
I just don't understand why if a person doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, they just can't be honest with the other person. Sure you'll both be hurt, sure you'll both be sad, and sure you'll both be unhappy. But isn't being honest about wanting to end things with someone, better than coming up with some lame ass excuse? I know for me it would be. Because if the other person finds out that you weren't being honest about why you would want to end things, that's just like an extra helping of rezentment to go along with the hurt feelings, and it could also contribute to getting a rep that you might not want or need.
These things are unfortunate, but part of the dating world I suppose.
Cam
Personally, if I don't want a relationship, I would tell the person. Its better, cause lying seems always to get found out. Having been a fool growing up, I learned this lesson the hard way, so I try always to be honest even if it hurts.
I have been through that as well but the worst part was it was my cousin and my ex husband and they had a child together so that really made me fearies.
what amazes me is how some guys can move on so quickly especialy when they have told the person that the love them etc.
I personally do not entertain people who are untruthful to me, regardless of the level of our interaction. And sometimes people get things done to them that they've done to others; in cases such as those, I feel no pity for the victim.
Speaking the truth should always be considered as an option.
Always looking for excuses to be truthful is not an option for me. And being friends is the foundation of my relationships.
It can happen to the best of us. Mine said his life was changing, and he was moving elsewhere. He couldn't just come out and say I think we need to end this relationship. Some people are/may be afraid to face certain issues head on.
okay, i haven't looked at this board for a while, so thank you to all who posted to it. the update is, that she did eventually find out that he did start seeing someone while they were still together, and he only used thoes excuses to break up with her so he could be with his new lover. however, carma is a bitch, and came back to bite him, cause his new girl foundout about my friend, and that he dumped my friend to be with her. so, she kicked his ass, and he no longer has her either. rofl, it just amazes me how guys and girls can get away with shit like that...actually, it makes me sick. if you don't want to be with someone, then be a man/woman about it and be honest with the person.
Honesty is the best policy. If u don't want to be in a relationship, just say so! Nothing wrong with honesty. That is funny, though sick, about the guy.
honesty is always the better way to go... I for one would be told I wouldn't want nothing but a friendship with someone if that were the cast. Like I had to tell this one guy.. just thins didn't seem like just a friendship deal to me, i just like him as a friend never could see something more. LOL and thank god i realized that in just a few days . lol